


Refuge in the Sky

by bluetoast



Series: Angels and Ministers of Grace [15]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Weather, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bullying, Car Accidents, Comfort Sex, Cruelty, Dark Stuff, Depression, Difficult Decisions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Hux is Not Nice, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Secrets, Snuggling, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tissue Warning, Trauma, Triggers, Verbal Abuse, You want to know what Hux did? This is what he did., high school is hell, i hope I got all the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 01:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8777662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetoast/pseuds/bluetoast
Summary: On a semi-busy street, in a building that was brand-new sixty years ago, two people lived in the right hand apartment on the seventeenth floor. One was a girl who never talked, but has some news to share. Good fortune was a rarity for Rey Kenobi. The other, was a guy with a lot of scars. Ben Solo's worst scars were the ones that weren't physically visible. Rather than wait for the weekend to pass by, he's decided to finally tell Rey just what happened during his junior year of high school.HC-Bingo - Hypothermia





	

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS PEOPLE. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.

Ben tapped his toothbrush against the side of the sink, his stomach still turning over. The only other person he'd ever told tragedy of his friends to was Doctor Andres, and he'd thrown up in the middle and the end of the story. But he knew he had to do this; and if he did it now, before the weekend started, he'd at least have some modicum of peace in his mind. He put the toothbrush back in its place and went back out into the main room. Rey was curled up on the corner of the couch next to the tree, her face set in a grim line as the television blared the local news. 

“How's the storm look?” He came over and sat on the other end, watching her face, rather than the screen. Ben knew he wasn't imagining the change that had settled over Rey. When she had moved in, she had looked as if a strong wind was going to knock her over any moment; now she had a more stable appearance, less waif and more, well, in a word, healthy. 

“It's not supposed to stop snowing until tomorrow night.” Rey rolled her eyes, more annoyed than disgusted. Poe had teased her mercilessly when she told him she was going to Chicago for college, and that it snowed constantly and it was almost always cold. She'd dismissed it and figured it couldn't be _that_ bad. She was rather annoyed that he was turning out to be mostly right about the weather. “I hope this isn't a prequel to a winter of nothing but snow.” Rey turned towards Ben, frowning. “You weren't sick again, were you?”

“Uh, no.” He rubbed his eyes, uncertain of how to even begin to tell her what he needed to. Not to mention things seemed far to light between them to bring up such a heavy subject? “I haven't thrown up since yesterday afternoon. I think I'm done with that.” He took a breath, then got up. “I'll be right back.” He rose and went into his study, the rush of cold, rather than causing him to cringe, gave him a bit more resolve as he knelt down and pulled his copy of _Sense and Sensibility_ from his bookshelf, returning to the room and shutting the door firmly behind him. “Hopefully, Arya will stay out of there.” 

Rey adjusted how she was sitting, so that her feet were tucked under her legs. That cat did whatever it damn well wanted to, and she'd noticed that Arya rarely went into an unoccupied room. Even now, she was settled under the Christmas tree, batting at a wooden ornament of a toy soldier. She figured it was time to just fess up to her good news, and get it over with. She picked up the envelope she'd put on the arm of the couch. “I got this in the mail Saturday.” She handed it to him, and then looked at her hands, feeling rather ashamed of herself. 

He set his book down as he took it and quickly scanned the letter within. He wasn't certain what Rey was expecting by way of a reaction, because she wouldn't look at him. “I'm sorry about your grandfather.” He gave her a smile. “Hey, you all right?” Ben reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. Was she expecting him to be angry about this? 

“I... well, I didn't know what you'd think.” She took a breath, looking back at her hands, catching sight of a smudge of paint on her left ring finger. How'd she get paint on that hand, or not noticed it earlier? She swallowed, still not lifting her head. “It's a rather insane amount of money.” 

“It is at that.” He handed the letter back to her, smiling as she took it. “I take it your errand on Tuesday was going to the bank.” 

“Yeah.” She rubbed her nose, setting the letter down. Might as well get the rest of it out. “So I was thinking I'd quit my job and just focus on classes next semester, then work come summer.” 

Ben thought back to the sum he'd seen written in the letter. “I'd say that's enough you can forget about working any semester of college and only work during the summer.” He paused, a thought coming to him. “If you'd rather go see your friends in Texas for Christmas...”

“No, no...” She moved on the couch and took his hands in hers. “I want to go with you to South Dakota, I haven't even told Finn and Poe about this.” She indicated the letter. “I was thinking that I'd wait and surprise them for Spring Break. Something like that.” She squeezed his hands. “I'm just... I wasn't expecting to have to not worry about money so much before I turned twenty-four. I'm still in shock about it, I think.” 

“I think anyone would be.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I'm happy for your good fortune, Rey.” He frowned, remembering what she'd told him of her family in Texas. “That asshole of an uncle isn't going to come looking for it, is he?”

She shook her head. “I was given these CDs and he got everything else.” She wrinkled her nose. “I actually talked to your grandmother about it.” She snickered at the memory. “Does she know every lawyer in the country, or something?”

Ben laughed. “No, my grandmother just happens to have the ability to recall names and faces with ease, and she remembers everyone she was in law school with.” He took a deep breath and picked up the remote. “You mind if I turn this off?” He indicated the television.

“Go ahead.” Rey shrugged, glancing over her shoulder at the partially covered window. “I believe the weather is speaking for itself.” 

“True enough.” He hit the power button, and set the remote down on the table, before turning on the couch, setting the book in his lap before taking both of her hands. “You remember when I told you last week about my friends who had passed away?” 

She nodded. “You said only one was an accident.” She squeezed his fingers; his hands felt cold and oddly limp in hers. “you don't have to talk about this...”

“I do.” He answered, firmly. Ben knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but it would be for the best. “What happened in my Junior year of high school is one of the catalysts in shaping how I am, and while I was already suffering from undiagnosed manic depression before, it just compounded it.” 

Rey looked down at their hands for a moment before meeting his gaze. She could hear the rawness in his voice; whatever it was she had to tell him, it was something akin to agony for him to speak.“Have you told anyone else about this?”

“Just Doctor Andres. Gwen and Leslie don't even know about it. Aunt Sabe knew a little, but not that many details.” He took a breath. “Now, remember when I told you about the kickball game in gym class?”

“And you picked kids who got usually got picked last first.” She smiled, and saw his lips quirk upward at the corners in response. “Sure.”

“Well, I was already friends with Nate, we were in Scouts together and Jen was my neighbor, but three of the others, Jordan, Mari and Shelly – they weren't my friends before, but they were after.” He swallowed. “First I have to explain that the only person in our group who never got picked on was Jen. This was because Jen was nice to absolutely everyone, and if you did try to start something with her, odds were, someone who was in earshot would kick your ass for doing it.”

“And even though you were nice to everyone, you got treated like shit because guys aren't supposed to be that way.” Rey squeezed his hands again, it was about the only thing she could think do. “Or something?”

He nodded. “More or less.” He bit at his bottom lip, thinking back to that terrible day in October when he was sixteen. “Now, Jordan was the brains of our group. I'm talking MIT and Cal-Tech were already chucking brochures into his mailbox the summer before we were sophomores. He was also exactly what you picture when you think ninety-eight pound weakling.” He let out a weak laugh, remembering the guy with white blond hair, blue eyes, and ears that were bigger than his. “He was wiry, practically blind without his glasses, and when you looked at our group, he was the one that was not like the others. Now, he and Marianne, Mari – they were on the forensics team together. He did original oratory, she did humorous interpretation.” He pulled his hand free from Rey long enough to run it through his hair. “Mari was sort of average in appearance, body type – but she was so damn funny. We used to call her Sassafras.” 

“I'm guessing the two of you together were a sarcasm nightmare.” she let out a soft chuckle. 

“Sometimes.” He swallowed. “Anyway, the two of them used to drive together to tournaments. It was the middle of October and it'd been raining a lot that fall. Wet leaves, wet pavement and an unfamiliar road were all factors in the accident.” He closed his eyes. “Jordan was killed on impact, Mari was alive, but unresponsive. She was sent to the ICU.”

“Oh god, I'm so sorry.” Rey pulled her hand away from him and rested it against his cheek. Her thumb brushed away one tear before she found her voice. “Ben?”

He shook his head and opened his eyes, that wretched, raw feeling was threatening to overcome him. “Mari had to be kept alive by machines. The four of us who were left decided we'd take rotating shifts on the weekends to stay with her. Shelly always took Saturday, because unlike me, Nate and Jen she didn't have any sporting conflicts.”

“Shit.” Rey couldn't imagine seeing Poe or Finn be that helpless. She bit at her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “That's...” 

“Anyway... Mr and Mrs Hartfield, Mari's parents, they held out hope that she'd get better for about a month and a half.” He shook his head. “Two weeks before Christmas, they decided to turn off the machines and donate their daughter's organs so that other families could have a wonderful gift for the holiday season, even at the cost of their own pain.” 

“No wonder this time of year is hard for you.” Rey pulled him towards her, so their foreheads were pressed together. “I'm so, so sorry Ben... I can't imagine...” She took a breath. “You don't have to continue, not if you don't want to.” 

He swallowed again, feeling the first tear slip down his face. “I've started, I have to finish.” He pulled back so he could look at her again. “Christmas came, and all of us, except Shelly, went somewhere. My mom and I went to Europe to see my dad like we always did, Nate and Jen went to visit relatives out of state. We made plans to spend New Year's at Nate's house, marathoning the _Harry Potter_ films and eating junk food.” He squeezed her hands again. “We all got back home, and Jen called Shelly up, asked her if she wanted to go to the grocery store with her for the junk food run. Shelly told her that she's made other plans, and wouldn't be coming. Jen, being Jen, told her that she was still welcome to come if they fell through and she hoped she had fun. Didn't ask questions.” 

Rey lifted her head, remembering another name Ben had mentioned, and made the connection. “She was going out with that Hux guy, wasn't she?”

Ben nodded, wishing, once again, that he could go back to that December day and pick his friend up and save her from that asshole. “Second semester started and all anyone could talk about was completely unpopular but extremely pretty Shelly Darrow and the uncrowned king of the school, Armitage Hux, being an item.” He shuddered, willing his dinner to stay down. “Nate and I knew he was bad news. Jen knew it too, and so, being the friends that we were, tried to get Shelly to see it.”

“Let me guess, she got pissed at the three of you.” She ducked her head, abashed. This was painful enough for Ben, that was obvious – and she didn't need to interrupt him. “Sorry.”

“No, no, that's roughly what happened. She accused us of abandoning her for the holidays, when we actually had no choice in the matter, said we weren't her friends anymore. Basically she was crashing and burning right in front of us but had no idea what was going on.” He looked down at the book in his lap, resting his hand on it for a moment. “Two weeks into the semester, the rumors started. And because almost all of us are shits when we're in high school, most everyone in the class didn't stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there was no truth in any of it. We still defended Shelly, because we knew it was bullshit. One afternoon, Jen was in the bathroom and she heard these two other girls in our class talking.” The hand over the book clenched into a fist. “Turned out Armitage was playing a _prank_ on Shelly.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Rey was revolted; she'd seen pranks pulled on her classmates back in Texas, but they all seemed minor in comparison to this. “What kind of asshole does that?”

“Armitage Franklin Hux.” He spat, not bothering to control his venom. “Anyway, Jen waited until the girls were gone before she left and of course, the first thing she does and comes and tells me and Nate. We decided to go over, the three of us, to Shelly's house.” He let out a breath. “Anyway, we told her what Jen had overheard, and Shelly got angry at us again. Said Hux had changed, that he wouldn't do that, and told us to get out, she had a party to get ready for.” 

“Oh no.” What little color that was left in Rey's face drained away. She didn't want to know where this was going; because she knew it was going to be ghastly.

“Yeah.” He rubbed his face with his hands, “So the three of us went to Denny's and just sort of sat there, trying to think what we could do. It'd been six weeks since that terrible day in the ICU and we decided that the next day, first thing, we'd go and talk to Mr and Mrs Darrow, let them know we were worried about Shelly.” He swallowed. “It was about nine, and we were out in the parking lot, when Jen's phone rang.” Ben closed his eyes. “It was Shelly, begging her to come pick her up. She was on the corner of Ash and Parsons, and Nate knew that Parsons was where the Gregsons lived. Teresa Gregson was the most popular girl in our class, and she was almost as bad news as Hux was.” 

Rey squeezed his knee and he offered her a wan smile. Maybe just getting this story out a second time would do Ben some good. It was encouragement for him; given how pale he looked, he needed it.“So you all went to get her?”

“Yeah.” He felt his throat close; he could still see his friend perfectly in his mind as when they found her. “Shelly looked nothing short of horrific. Her clothes were in disarray, make-up running down her face and she absolutely _reeked_ of beer.”

“Oh god.” Her hand came up to the back of his head. The look on his face frightened her. This was worse than the mask he'd worn when sitting naked in the classroom. “Ben, you don't have to finish...” 

“No, no I need to.” He pulled away from her, standing up, needing to expel of the emotion by moving. “Well, since my mom was out of town, we went to my house. Shelly got cleaned up, I swiped some clothes for her from my mom's give-away pile. I have to point out that Shelly hadn't been drinking. She'd been pushed against a wall, thrown out of the Gregson's house into the snow, few bruises, that was all that was physically wrong with her. The cause of the stench was because people had dumped their cups of beer over her head.” 

“And these shits got away with it?” Rey stood up as well, indignant, angry on behalf of some girl she'd never met. “Where the hell were the parents at this party?” She'd had foster homes that were negligent, but this was stomach turning. “And beer? You were all in high school – how'd they get a hold of it?”

“Fake ID cards, and you'd be surprised how many parents in my class really couldn't be bothered.” He slid a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down. “Anyway, Jen took her over to her house to spend the night, Nate stayed with me and we agreed we'd have breakfast together, then go see her parents. Tell them what happened.” 

Rey shook her head, already seeing where this was going. She'd seen several of her classmates from high school destroyed by cyber-bullies. “But the rumor mill was already being fed on the Internet, right?”

“And how.” Ben sat back down. “Hux partially admitted to the prank, saying it was for her own good in the end. He told Shelly that she needed to stop being such, and I quote, 'frigid frumpy cunt.' He called her that in front of that entire party, there were about forty people there – people that had been our classmates for almost a decade. Before the weekend was out, half the class was calling her FFC.” 

“And your mother wanted you to live with that asshole?” Rey started to pace in front of the television. Even the most popular kids back in Texas wouldn't be this cruel. “She loses two friends in three months and he pulls a twisted thing like that? And no one called him on his shit?”

“He had to much power within the class, and his father was a state senator with deep pockets.” Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. “We knew it would be bad at school on Monday, so Nate, Jen and I decided that one of us should always be with Shelly in the hallways, but it didn't help.” He rested his arms on his legs. “People called her some other cruel names, which I'm not going even repeat. They tagged her locker, basically made her life hell. She closed down all her online accounts, changed her email, and it still continued. I don't think she let us know just how bad it really was.” He swallowed. “Spring Break was coming up, and in an effort to get her away from the nightmare her life was turning into, her parents surprised her with a trip to San Francisco. Shelly was about as obsessed with Stanford University as I was with De Paul. We all saw this as a good thing. She said she'd send us all postcards.” 

“She didn't.” Rey came back over to the couch and sat, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. She looked down at the book he'd been holding – _Sense and Sensibility,_ and she had the strong feeling that it had belonged to Ben's late friend. “Did she?”

“She sent each of us one.” He opened the book and drew out the postcard inside. “This is the one she sent me.” Ben held it towards her, not looking at the writing on the back of it. “That's the Transamerica Pyramid. Designed to withstand earthquakes. Jen's is of the San Francisco Mission – Nate's is AT&T Park, where the Giants play.” 

Rey took the bright card from him, looking at the skyline of the city, it'd been taken at twilight, and the sky was a beautiful shade of purple and the clouds were pink, the lights of the city were almost shining on the paper. “May I?” 

He nodded, then looked away from her before she could start to read. “Please.” He'd reached the part of this story that he hated. 

She turned it over in her hand, and read the letter out loud. _“BB, I wished I listened to you more often. You've been a far better friend than I deserve and I'm sorry for hurting you in the past, and hurting you again. The world needs more people like you, because you make the world better just by being in it.”_ Rey felt the tears well up in her eyes, blurring her vision. Gods, this poor girl... _“I hope you someday find the joy and love you deserve. I wish I had your strength, a heart like Jen's, and Nate's spirit. Thank you for picking me that day in gym class, and thank you for being my friend. Please take care of each other. Love, Shelly.”_

Ben took the card from Rey before she could get any tears on it. He tucked it back into its place and set the book on the table. “You always hope that there's going to be someone there to pull a person back from the edge. But when the time came, there was no one there for Shelly.” He swallowed, pressing the heel of his hands into his eyes. “She um...” He struggled to speak, lifting his head, but the room might as well not be there. “She jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.”

“Ben.” Rey wrapped her arms tightly around him as he started to cry in her shoulder. “Just let it out.” She smoothed down his hair, kissing his forehead. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“Shelly's birthday was the next week.” He choked out, remembering the day they dumped the gathered party food in the food collection at church. “We were planning a surprise party for her.” Ben broke down; his body wracked with ugly, gulping sobs. He was barely aware of Rey holding him, of Arya suddenly worming her way into his lap – none of it. He couldn't see anything but Shelly waving good-bye from the backseat of her parents car, beaming like she hadn't since before Jordan died; while he, Nate and Jen stood in the snow, smiling back as they drove off. 

*

Rey rinsed her toothbrush off, her mind still reeling from what Ben had told her. The fact that he carried that kind of emotional weight around every day... she shook her head, not certain if she wanted to just hold him until they left for their holiday, or plot with Finn and Poe to end that bastard Hux. Sighing, she turned the light off in the bathroom and went into Ben's room, slipping into bed with him. She'd guided him there after he'd nearly exhausted himself crying and even though it was only a little after eight in the evening, she didn't have the heart to suggest they try and do anything other than rest. “Don't go and pretend like you're already asleep, I know you're not.” 

Ben let out a weak chuckle and turned over, hugging her middle and resting his head on her chest. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.” she stroked his hair. “I'm not to certain what I should be telling you, or even if I should tell you anything.” She brushed her thumb along his cheek. “I do believe a congratulations is in order for making it through the rest of high school.” 

He coughed. “It wasn't easy. The three of us all had to go see the school counselor. I don't really remember much of what I said, only that about a week after, I found myself talking to Doctor Williams, my first psychiatrist. She was nice, understanding, but I think I was a little more than she bargained for. She thought I was just suffering from shock and grief – and after about four sessions with her, she realized that it went deeper.” He rubbed his cheek against her breastbone. “And she was the one who discovered that medication wasn't an option.”

“Are the evils that Kylo Ren fights a metaphor for your depression? Battling in a galaxy that no one else can or will, trying to save other people from the pain he's felt?” She frowned in the darkness. “Or am I looking to deeply there?”

“No.” He shifted off of her, resting on his arms, looking up into her face. “That's pretty much who he is. Although I think the only people who will understand that are the people who know me and other people suffering from depression.” 

She sat up, hugging her legs. “And writing is also a form of therapy for you as well?”

“Yeah.” He looked down at his hands. “I've always enjoyed writing. But I never really got serious about it until high school. It was an outlet.” In the darkness, she saw him blush slightly. “I used to have quite a few revenge fics posted on AO3. The one everyone seemed to like was when Harry spiked all of Uncle Vernon's liquor with veritaserum before he left for Hogwarts.” 

She smothered a giggle. “I think I might have read that, or heard of it. Did you only write _Harry Potter_ fic?”

Ben didn't look up at her. “I may have written a few _Chronicles of Narnia pieces_.” 

“I haven't looked at your bookshelves all that well, so I have no idea what sort of books you're into reading, but given that you grew up in a Christian household, you had to have had a _Narnia_ phase at some point.” She frowned. “There was this amazing book eight fic on AO3, did you ever read it? What was it... the something bow...”

 _“The Indestructible Bow?”_ He still wouldn't look at her. 

“Yes!” She grinned, remembering the fic that Poe had told her to read when they were freshmen and had lost sleep in finishing it. “The one where Susan goes back to Narnia and reclaims it for Aslan. She's like some avenging angel out to destroy the demons that overran the land she used to be queen of, and her bow, it was strung with a hair from Aslan's mane, so it could never break. So you've read it too?”

He gave her a sheepish look. “Uh, no, I wrote it.” He ducked his head. “That's what I wrote my senior year for emotional release. I still get reviews on it – at least once a week. Despite that it's nearly seven years old.”

“That story is incredible.” She reached out and smoothed down his hair again. “I think Poe showed it to our _Narnia_ obsessed English teacher.” Rey fell quiet as there was an odd popping sound and the apartment fell silent; a horn blared somewhere outside, the sound almost lost in the lash of snow against the window and roar of the wind. “what was that?” She lifted herself up on her arms, her brain suddenly registering that not only was it quiet, it was dark.

Ben sat up, and then looked towards his dresser, and she saw that his alarm clock was blank. “Power failure.” He chuckled. “Glad that Arya has a litter box and doesn't need to be taken outside regularly.” he fell back against the pillows. “Thankfully, we keep this place clean and can find our way to the bathroom and back with no problem.” 

Rey laid back down, resting her hand on his cheek. “Do you have any flashlights? Or candles?”

“Candles are banned in the building. Fire hazard.” He closed his eyes as she ran her hand into his hair. “There's a flashlight in the drawer on the table next to you, if you need it.” 

“I think I'll manage.” She moved closer to him, pressing her lips to his forehead. “What are we going to do with our day tomorrow? If the power's not restored?”

“Do our best to stay warm, start work on that jigsaw puzzle I brought home Sunday.” He kissed her softly, his lips lingering against hers. “Since you refuse to play Scrabble.” 

She smirked. “I just know better than to play an English major.” she slid her hand against his waist, slipping it under his shirt. “Although I'm all for a vocabulary lesson.” She let her hand move higher, over his ribcage. “Maybe figure out what we are.” 

Ben let out a soft hiss as her hand brushed his nipple. “You haven't figured that one out, yet?” He pulled her hand out from under his shirt, and started kissing her fingers, his lips lingering over the ends, his tongue tracing her knuckles. “We're companions.”

Rey let out a soft chuckle. That word sounded so silly in her mind. Companions didn't even sound close. Companions were for _Doctor Who_ and Edwardian dramas with predictable plots. “I don't think that quite covers it, given the psychical aspect of us.” 

He chuckled. “Then one of the next things you need to read is _My Mrs. DeWinter_ – it's an smut infused version of _Rebecca._ Max DeWinter frequently calls his wife _my darling companion_ while they're having sex.” He set a hand on her hip, and she could feel his thumb against her skin. “But if we just use the term in public, it sounds like we're simply good friends.” 

She turned the word over in her mind again. Companion, did, in a way, fit. They lived together, they spent time together and the outward appearance of it was that was all they were. She wasn't fooling herself; Gwen and Leslie knew what they were doing, and she was certain that Ben had told his shrink. She wasn't about to tell Poe or Finn that she was sleeping with Ben – well, not any time soon. It's not as if she didn't know they were sleeping together. Practically their whole class had known that. Hell, Poe's parents had known about it. She might tell her friends eventually, but casually mentioning that she was sleeping with a guy she'd only known six weeks? “It does fit. Although given that Mr. DeWinter killed his first wife, the relationship wasn't exactly healthy.” 

“True.” His hand slid slightly higher, his eyes on hers as his thumb brushed the underside of her breast. “However, you know about several of the skeletons in my closet. Therefore, you know I don't have a Bertha in the attic.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, his other hand lifting her shirt slowly. He pulled away, sucking on her bottom lip with both of his before breaking the kiss. “Is this okay?”

She nodded, slipping her hands back under his shirt, watching as his face crinkled as her fingers went over his ribs; she remembered that he was rather ticklish there.“We have to keep warm somehow.” She ducked her head so he could pull her shirt over it and then he did the same so she could remove his.

“You're cold?” He kissed her again, tugging on her upper lip gently with his teeth. 

“A little.” She pulled back, setting her hand against his face, her thumb tracing the scar on his cheek. “You?”

“Some.” He leaned down and kissed her neck. “Let's see if we can warm ourselves.” He whispered against her ear as his hand slid down to the waistband of her pajama bottoms and started to tug them off of her hips.

*

Grey light was filtering into the room around the edges of the blinds. The clock-radio on the dresser was still blank, and the room was almost cold. Rey flinched and pulled the blankets back over her head, burrowing closer to Ben. It was most likely sometime after seven, but she didn't feel like darting out into the living room and grabbing her phone from off the coffee table. Perhaps she could teach Arya how to fetch certain items in the apartment. “It's cold out there.” She mumbled against her arm.

“Then stay under here where it's warm.” Ben mumbled, his hand rubbed the small of her back. “I'm not going out there and I grew up with weather like this.” 

She snickered. “I think it's a bit different being in a blizzard when you're in a house and when you're seventeen stories up. More wind, for one thing.”

“True.” Ben shifted under the covers so he could wrap an arm around her, resting his lips against her shoulder-blade. “There was also the fact that we had a fireplace, candles, and whatnot.”

“You ever get snowed in?” Rey felt his hand come over and clasp hers. “It had have happened at least once, right?”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “I was almost thirteen, and I was home alone. My mom was trapped at work. Since the vacuum cleaner couldn't be plugged in, I cleaned the living room with a broom and put the Christmas tree up. Fortunately, we had just gotten a bunch of new lights, so I didn't have to worry about them not working.” 

“You say that and it makes me think something bad happened when your mom finally came home.” She turned over so their foreheads were resting against each other. “Don't tell me she was actually mad you did something without her.” 

Ben frowned, thinking back to the start of the week. “It was going to be our first Christmas without my grandpa, well, technically, Bail Organa was my step-grandfather, but he was the only one I knew, so... I think my mom was still fixed on doing things as we'd always done it.” He reached out and stroked Rey's cheek. “That was also the first Christmas we went to Europe. I can remember setting the timers for the lights. I really didn't want to go, I wanted to go to Uncle Luke's house. They only had Anna then, she was six, and still believed in Santa Claus.” 

“Aw.” She smiled. “Where did you go in Europe that first time?” It can't have been all bad, could it?”

“Germany, Austria, Hungary, and Romania. These trips were always the same in the regard that we'd go, I'd go with the groups on the tours of the sights, my mom would spend the time relaxing and my dad would work and we'd eat dinner together. Sometimes breakfast.” He rubbed his nose. “Worst part of it was having to share a cabin with my mother.”

“Eek.” Rey grimaced. “I take it that never went well.” 

He shrugged. “I was exceptional at being silent by that point, so I was able to get up, get dressed and leave without waking her once.” Ben closed his eyes, thinking back on the trips. “There'd always be some seriously older couple on the trip, and they'd usually have me stick with them, saying they'd keep me out of trouble. I think I was there so they had someone to lean on to help get up and down the stairs.” 

She couldn't hold back her snort. “And, fine young man that you are, were more than happy to oblige.” 

He ducked his head, his cheeks turning pink. “What can I say?” He stretched slightly, hearing a surprised chirp as his foot made contact with his cat. “Guess that answers where Arya is.” 

Rey reached over, lifting his chin with her hand. “You want to venture out into the apartment and find something to eat? Someone's going to be demanding breakfast of her own soon.” 

Ben smiled and kissed her gently. “Sure.” He let his lips trail over to her ear. “You stay here, under the covers where it's warm, Darling.”


End file.
